Three Common Things That I Don't Have

To start, I have a pressing need to publically make my first product endorsement. Actually, I guess this will be my second public product endorsement since I am like walking Bacardi ad, but either way I need to tell you that Mr. Clean Magic Eraser will take the deodorant marks off of a black shirt and I now owe it my first born child for getting me out the door on time this morning without changing my outfit ten times, thereby infuriating Beau.

Also important: I’ve determined the worst thing about dieting. It’s not eating rabbit food for lunch or avoiding my usual four afternoon cookies. It’s not even eating less in general. The worst part is the result of eating less, namely having less pooh. My daily food intake includes tons of vegetables so it’s not, ya know, THAT problem. There’s just no poop in there. Since veggies are like solid water, I think everything I ingest is just evaporating when it hits the sizzling heat of my small intestine. So, I have no poop. I am poopless.

But on to the main purpose of this post which is to explain my actions to a bunch of strangers because it’s easier than telling my father (no, just kidding, I already told him. He’s taking it well. I wouldn’t tell you before I told my own family. What kind of person would that make me?): I deferred grad school until at least the spring of 2009. Dun dun dun! Clap of thunder. Queue that music they played when Bob Saggot had a serious talk with the girls on an episode of Full House.

Maybe you’ve noticed I’m not really all that career-oriented. I’ve tried, Interweb! But for all my trying, I can’t make myself get interested in any legitimate industry. I’m even LESS interested in spending $35,000 breaking into a field that I’m not interested in. Before you start in on me, I’ve already had the “You’re too smart of a girl to be a receptionist” talk and heard the “If you put off grad school any longer, you’ll never end up going” argument. And hey, thanks for the advice. Seriously. I took it in and gave it a lot of solid thought while I was sitting on the can back when I had some pooh. But guys, you can’t force something like this. NOTHING GIVES YOU THAT RIGHT.