I simply cannot wait for the end of the year to summarize the awesomeness that is 2009, so let me share with you what’s going on in the life and times of Dangerous K:
New Jobs = 2
As you already know, I now have a job that doesn’t suck ass and I’m very pleased to announce that Beau officially resigned this morning from the Evil Accounting Firm in order to join Happy- Fun-Time-Angels-Singing Company in two weeks.
House Purchases = 1
Since Landlord Man unofficially evicted us after our tame little Christmas party, we decided to take the plunge and buy a place while the market was tanking and the government is giving a sizeable tax credit to first time home buyers.
Puppies to Adopt = 1
About 5 minutes after we move into our new yet-to-be-determined house, I’ll be supplementing our family with a new character: a mutt. I’m now accepting name suggestions.
Baby Showers to Plan = 1
I’ve been put in charge of Bologna’s baby shower. Normally I’m not put in charge of anything because I’m irresponsible, lazy, and usually drunk, but regardless – in what I can only assume was a fit of hormone induced tenderness – Bologna asked me to spear head the thing so here I am, interviewing strippers and placing orders for an immense supply of cocaine when who should step in to help? My big fat Italian family from Long Island which is sure to cause lots of drama.
So, sorry Misty. Looks like we won’t need you this time.
Weddings to Attend = 2
Jay Aitch proposed to Chairsy in December and they will wed in October AND I get to be a bridesmaid! Yay more inclusion!
Beau’s sister She-ra is also getting married this fall and she’s doing so …
Humans to be Birthed = 1
… the same week of Bologna’s due date which means I should probably refrain from get tanked at her wedding just in case I get the call at 2 am and need to start driving to Jersey in my Sunday best. I can already envision that police stop: me in a pink taffeta gown with mascara running down my cheeks while I explain to the officer that I am driving at 90 mph down the Merit Parkway because my Bologna is hatching her Nugget RIGHT THIS VERY MOMENT AND I NEED TO BE THERE WITH A BASEBALL MIT TO CATCH THE EMISSION.
So all in all, that gives this year a total of (two plus one plus one plus one plus two plus one) EIGHT!! Eight which happens to be my favorite number and doesn’t even include the charity walk that I’m doing with the Quatro this April or the numerous visits from out-of-town friends over the next few months or any other events that might pop up.
Best year ever!
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