A Sorry Excuse for a Blog Entry

Unemployment wears well on me. I spent four days being a human slug at Beau’s Cape house (mostly having a stomach bug that interfered with my drinking, but otherwise tanning). While there, I spent a bit of quality time with Beau’s sister, She-ra, so named because she very casually does triathlons every few months making me think that she could probably pick me up and throw me if I got too rowdy. Plus she has style flair just like her namesake and if you aren’t impressed with the embellished toga/cape/Uggs combo, then I just don’t know how to reach you.

On Monday night, I found myself on the couch with She-ra and her friends who introduced me to a new substance to go with my ice cream. I’ve never tried it before because I thought it was shameful, detrimental to my overall health, and dangerous. They say you’re hooked after just one dose, and they’re right. I am speaking of course of The Hills which I will more than likely watch next Monday and every Monday thereafter while drooling a little from the side of my mouth.

In other news, I’ve jumped on the housewifery bandwagon to fight the threat of cabin fever. In my first day alone at the apartment, I got up early to pack Beau’s lunch, did all the laundry I could find, exorcised 2 liquefying tomatoes from the kitchen, and did that puttering thing where you find problems you didn’t even know existed when you had a life. Like dusty baseboards. Faced with the prospect of continuing on a cleaning rampage thereby becoming my father, I rounded yesterday afternoon off by reneging on every bad thing I ever said about Corporate America and trolling Craigslist for job openings.