Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Dangerous K Goes On A Field Trip: The Exciting Conclusion

When we last left our heroes…







Grasshoppah was a responsible girl and went to all her appointments with nifty specialists who ran more tests on her (I assume things like holding a crucifix up to her face and checking to see if she had a reflection). Amongst the doctors she visited was one who diagnosed her with a minor condition that explains all of her bizarre symptoms (repeated sinus infections, severe migraines that cause nausea, muscle spasms in the head and other parts of the body, head spinning, projectile vomiting, climbing down stairs backwards): TMJ.

And (good times!) it can be easily fixed with a mouth guard worn while she sleeps… for the modest price of $500. Jigga what?! $500?! Yes. I can’t really fathom spending so much money on something I put in my mouth. Not including my rum budget. Even better? Her insurance won’t cover it.

Luckily, Master Debater in his wisdom suggested she try the cheap CVS version before splurging on something that costs practically an entire month’s rent. That one costs around $30 which is an amount of cash I can easily imagine covering in saliva without much regret. Now, Grasshoppah could go purchase this much more reasonable device out of pocket, or, for the sake of being supportive (and making a scene in public) I suggest an alternative: The TMJ Awareness Walk 2008. I will personally pack a picnic lunch and donate t-shirts for anyone willing to pitch in a few bucks and take a walk down the Charles River with me screaming “T-M-J! GO-A-WAY!” and other such encouraging slogans.

I am completely serious. Tentative date: Sunday, May 4 around noon. Anyone willing to tackle this terrible affliction with me, please leave a note in the comments section.

Free picnic and t-shirts for any who join.

1 comment:

Going Comomdo said...

TMJ can cause all of that? Good God and Jesus on a biscuit. Hope Grasshoppah feels beddah!