These Are a Few of My Favorite Things

1) Making plans with the ladies to grab dinner near Boston Common and see Atonement in the chichi movie theater with the escalators.

2) Meeting Face before Grasshoppah gets out of work to troll through H&M in search of an umbrella while discussing the rain/poofy hair situation.

3) Leaving H&M with a little, retarded umbrella that breaks a block later and also an accidental cardigan (for some people, gum is an impulse purchase – for me, it’s sweaters).

4) Settling into a table at the Beantown Pub with a nice, funny waiter who promptly brings me a rumndietcoke while I peruse the menu and watch commuters get drenched by the downpour.

5) Being happily surprised when Grasshoppah, who is physically incapable of finding her way around the city, makes it to the restaurant without incident.

6) Watching Grasshoppah order a beer and a shot of Jack Daniels with a straight face.

7) Discussing books classified as guilty pleasures with Face only to discover that she secretly loves the works my favorite trashy novelist’s other penname (I’m a fan of Barbara Michael’s daunting ghost/romance thrillers while Face prefers Elizabeth Peters’ Egyptological mysteries. Doesn’t matter. Same person. Very exciting. I squealed. People stared).

8) Watching Grasshoppah order a grilled cheese, a beer and another shot of Jack Daniels with a straight face.

9) Eating a reasonable Greek salad with grilled chicken (and only a few of Face’s nachos) to balance the caloric content of the jumbo popcorn in my near future.

10) Hearing the words “So, I have something I need to tell you guys…” come out of Face’s face followed by a brief explanation that she is [now freshly censored because SOOO many people read my blog some have begun to fear social fall out and political upheaval].

11) Scrapping the movie and immediately ordering another round of drinks.

12) Outpacing the girls’ drinks by a 2 to 1 ratio because tumblers of rumndietcoke are much smaller volume-wise than beers.

13) Demanding the first cab that pulled up due to a state of mild inebriation and actually getting it because I have the most wonderful, patient friends on earth who understand my complete lack of social etiquette (especially when intoxicated) and, dare I say, even find it a bit charming at times.

14) Having a cabbie who actually knows where he’s going in Suburbia.

15) Coming home to veggie tempura and an episode of Family Guy.

16) Having a fitful sleep of nightmares consisting of a dream in which the house catches fire and I have to rescue my downstairs neighbors’ dogs which ends with the ceiling collapsing, thereby trapping me in the house with an armful of assorted terriers. Then having another nightmare in which I’m on a Food Network challenge show where they’ve teamed me up with my evil ex-boyfriend and he keeps yelling at me because I don’t know how to cook goose livers properly. (Note: this is not actually one of my favorite things but for sequential continuity, I’ve included it anyway and for that, I apologize).

17) Waking up with a headful of big, bouncy curls as a result of going to bed with wet hair.

18) Realizing as I walk out the door that I already lost my little, retarded umbrella because I am a little, retarded person.