After over a year of loyal receptionist service, I am very disappointed with Boss Lady’s new attitude towards me. Besides wigging out that I gave my official notice to someone else (I have half a dozen supervisors, so instead of sit them all down for a heart-to-heart, I cut straight to the most senior, the COO, and gave HIM my notice), she’s also been checking in on me periodically on the most simple tasks. I have a string of emails ensuring that my time sheet was submitted properly and that a package was sent out last week.
Mind you, my behavior hasn’t changed in the slightest. I’m not shirking responsibilities (including the editorial work that I’m not being paid for), I’m not taking obscenely long lunch breaks and I have yet to steal any major office equipment to sell on Ebay later when my rent is due. All I did was quit. I mean, c’mon, it’s not like I’m blogging when I should be filing expense reports.
Until now I mean. I figure if I’m going to be punished for offenses that I’m not committing then I aught to commit a few in order to settle the debt. Besides blogging, I intend on thieving a box of tissue from the supply closet tomorrow.
To bring us up to date, I was attacked by the flu and then a nasty chest cold, so I spent a solid week on the couch running a ridiculous fever and coughing up E. Bola juice. I’m mostly better now. Except for the sniffles which is why I need the thieved tissues.
The Evil Accounting Firm shipped Beau off to Florida last week but he came home to visit this weekend (on one of the ONLY planes to make the Orlando to Boston haul during Friday’s snow storm). Our lack of car for the time period and general laziness confined us to the suburbs instead of allowing us to venture into town. Still, we had a splendiferous time romping in the park where I was pelted with snowballs and allowed to pet other people’s dogs. This prompted a serious discussion of our own need for a canine companion. Considering my last day of work is March 14 and I expect to be unemployed for upwards of a month while I job search, it seems to be a convenient time to rescue a puppy. Or 2. Or 8.
We spent Saturday evening in the apartment continuing our search for the original video of 2 Girls, 1 Cup. For those not in the know, 2 Girls, 1 Cup is a current internet phenomenon. It is a pornographic video of 2 girls allegedly pooping into a cup, eating it, and puking. There are endless videos on You Tube of people’s reactions to the video and we feel very left out since we haven’t seen it. Plus, we’re those kids that would TOTALLY press a red button labeled “Do not push”. The official website puts us into an endless loop of asking for email addresses before it will download the video and we’re unable to find the original elsewhere. I’m sure viewing it will scar me for life but that is something I’m prepared to deal with.
Naturally, this led to a discussion of another favorite past time: perusing the “casual encounters” portion of craigslist and laughing heartily at the ads. Inspired by a previous conversation and our own warped minds, we considered posting the following spoof ad to see who responds: “Wanted: male or female to participate in Mr. & Mrs. Santa fantasy. We’ll be the Clauses. You’ll be Rudolph. Antlers to be provided.”
Mostly, we need to get out of the house more and stop being 10 year olds. A portion of this need will be met this weekend when I visit Beau in Florida. Since we plan on going to Sea World and then drinking around the world at Epcot, I expect that the second portion will not be satisfied.
1 comment:
While you were sick, I was stuck in California at a sales conference. It was actually fun. I mean, the non-sales part of it - which was everything that included alcohol consumption. I just blogged about it.
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