When I graduated from college, my father said, “Pre-med majors become doctors. Pre-law majors became lawyers. English majors become… well, you must be an English.” Spot on, Dad. Here I am, launched from the safety of school with my fancy BA in Worthless, a giggly bucketful of dreams, rainbows, and pixie-farts and not a bloody clue what to do next. I have an inkling that I am not alone.
Know what happens when you slam on the breaks of a car going 90 mph? The car spins out. It’s scary and disorienting and more often than not, induces a panic attack that persists even after the vehicle has come to rest. Same thing here. We graduate with 16 years of educational momentum at our backs and nothing to do with it. Add to that the pressing need to pursue a career path that will determine the trajectory of our Mortal Lives or, more precisely, which advanced degree to dump our minimal earnings into so as to ENTER the career path that will determine the yadda yadda yadda.
Well, gee, that’s a little depressing. Maybe we should all go read The Bell Jar a few more times and cry into our pillows until Dr. Phil pops out of the TV like that creepy chick from The Ring. Except Dr. Phil would make everything right whereas Creepy Chick from The Ring made everything so very wrong.
Or alternately, we could start by succinctly defining these rambling paragraphs of run-on sentences as:
Post-college doldrums (n): (1) The period of early-20s existential crisis in which one flounders about in a series of unfulfilling entry-level jobs whilst picking a legitimate, stimulating career path so as to become a contributing member of society and not let one’s parents down (2) Alcoholism
This may sound very petulant to some of you (if there ARE any of you reading this). I’ll be the first to admit that I have lived a much more privileged life than many but despite that, I think the post-college doldrums is a much wider epidemic than is currently recognized. Is it the most pressing issue? No. Does it affect the lives and mental wellbeing of many of my peers? I think so.
Ok. Shake it out. I won’t end a posting on an emo note and since slapstick routines don’t translate via blog, I will reveal the correct answer to the symphony puzzle. The correct answer is 5. I shit you not. This woman had a red top hat on and seemed totally nonchalant about it. Beau thought Abe Lincoln was haunting the place. I had to hold him down so he wouldn’t run away. Seriously.
3 comments:
I graduated in 1991 with an English degree (and Business minor). Guess what? Everyone thought I was going to be a teacher. Never mind that I took exactly zero Education classes. Hell, no, I did NOT want to be a teacher. Like you, I hadn't a clue what I DID want. I ended up in business - sales, to be exact, and I have eeked out an excellent career for myself over the years. It is astounding how bad most business people are at menial tasts such as composing a letter, a memo, or a presentation. My English education did, in fact, help me out in the business world.
Take heart! All is not lost! :)
And, apparently, I should have taken more computer courses so that I could learn to preview my typos before posting. Oops.
(tasts = tasks, thanks much)
I, too, graduated with an English degree in 1991. Eight years later, I insisted someone let me frigging WRITE for a living, and I've been doing it ever since. I'm a marketing editor now, and LOVE it! Hang in there, sister.
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